Alex Jones is the world’s biggest asshole and shouldn’t have a dime to his name. He should have been on that bridge.

I guess why not? Tinkers gotta tinker!

That’s where I am. At that price, maybe try to fix a few things yourself and when that fails run it hot to the cheapest, nearest mechanic.

We’ve traced the snowflake--it’s coming from inside the house!

Isn’t my across-the-street-neighbor Gladys Kravitz’s Ring camera already recording my porch 24/7?

He didn’t say it was a good idea.

Honestly, f-ck this person. Unless you were having a stroke, there’s no reason to be driving that fast. You’re an asshole, the kind that cries their eyes out in court when they’re facing 20-30 years for killing somebody. Drop dead.

I’ll offer some Clarity.

They need to get more creative with the interior than dreary black.

More like Qrust. Yeesh.

Wait a minute, weren’t you high throughout high school? That’s important to your story!

Buffoon says buffoonish thing. 

It’s a good deal, and way less scary than going German. I say go for it, it’ll probably be like owning a solid late 90s Cadillac with more tech. Maybe just find one that isn’t so...gray.

That’s gerrymandering! Bugs would look at the detailed map, shrug and make an arbitrary cut yelling, “So long screwy, see you in St. Louis!” as it floated away.

Still an improvement, though.

My
Ass
Got
Abducted!

Bezos’s next yacht! Seriously, though, she’s beautiful, impressive and sad to see in person, especially compared to the floating monstrosities of today. Restoration and upkeep don’t come cheap, though (as Long Beach knows). Somebody just has to come up with a viable way to make her profitable.

Imagine the conversation between these two PT Barnum bullshitters.

I guess being King of the Mutants is a thing for some people. It’s still more power than they had working at the T-Mobile store.

I will now announce “a quality escape occurred” when I fart in the car.