Maybe try coffee before commenting?

Dr. Jezebel: “We’re going to have to remove your vagina.”

Vetting future wives, I’m sure.

Wasn’t that a retread of a Gilligan’s Island episode? (haha)

My ‘95 Saab Aero had the tach AND the little light. The light was so naggingly annoying I asked the dealer to unplug it but it was complicated so we just put a sticker over it.

There’s just something weird about all these concepts that push the “freedom” of randomly driving into the woods to do your daily routine. In reality you’d be in a Costco parking lot for access to a bathroom and cheap pizza.

Like another fucking superhero movie?

You just can’t wait to fly over DC in Air Force One on Inauguration Day before your time runs out. Zing! You’ll really be showing them, big boy!

You can never see your dogs too much.

That you, Barron?

How would it work with a valet?

Don’t you mean half a hot dog at Wienerschnitzel, freund?

I’m just freaked out that I’m lusting after a Pontiac Phoenix.

Never bring a Sawzall to a butter knife fight.

Finally, an 8-Series that practically pays for itself!

Ahnuld is a shitty person but was a moderate republican governor, what are now called “old school” republicans (not the batshit, right wing conspiracy theorist “just say anything” republicans that get headlines today). He was relatively reasonable and respectful to California’s environment. Ironically, while old…

Yup. Jordan had some cajones (or missed history class) trying to bring it back, but it was like, Yeahhnoooo, Michael, not even you can pull that off.

A confident No Dice just reading the headline. No need to look at the pictures!

“I was on the fence until you said steaming. NP!”

Exactly. Mr. “Family Values” was cheating on his wife while concocting the recipe for the right-wing “be an asshole” Republican Party we know today.