Or Urban Meyer’s daughter.

Given his propensity for failing upward, presumably Kiffin will be sleeping with Saban’s wife next.

As much as it’s fun to picture God with one of those stupid Green Bay “shareholder” certificates framed on his living room wall behind the La-Z-Boy, I prefer to think of God as a Giants fan because Eli Manning is the funniest quarterback to picture being carried along the beach (toward another Super Bowl victory over…

I don’t adamantly hate it, but I consider it to be, by a comfortable margin, the worst studio film I’ve ever seen.

Bryce Harper is gonna scold that guy so bad tomorrow. “YOU SIR ARE A BAD WASHINGTON BASEBALL CROWD MAN, AND YOU MAKE THE TEAM FROWN! YOUR ENTHUSIASM LEAVES MUCH TO DESIRE!”

*watches Storen pitch sail over left-field wall*

While I’ll concede that Atlanta got a better deal from the Falcons than many other cities have, city ownership of a stadium doesn’t mean a whole lot in terms of leverage when the stadium’s entire value is derived by the team continuing to play there. Without the Falcons, the city is the proud owner of a big, sad,…

Having concluded the portion of the day in which he does and says reasonable things, Blank returned to overseeing construction of a taxpayer-subsidized, robot sphincter stadium.

Oh, absolutely, you’ll get no argument from me.

Orlando > Tampa, any day of the week.

I got out in 2010. And yes, Wackadoo’s is still there, its mascot is still a drunk platypus, and as always, nothing makes sense.

Ugh, yup. And, as of 2011, proud owner of an award given “for the global recognition that he brings to UCF.”

OMG, can’t believe I forgot the Citronaut! Why was he always depicted scratching his ass??

Lol I wish I knew how to do that, but I went to UCF :/

As a graduate of this fine(?) institution, I can contribute a few more fun facts about the (formerly Golden) Knights of UCF:

Wow, have you guys seen Goodell today? He looks TERRIBLE!

Mr. Goodell, do you have any response?

Fair. Upon further reflection:

Yeah, those sites probably went with the right headlines.

LOOK OUT FOR GOODELL, ADWALE DUERSON!

Tom Brady is open to accepting some form of suspension, but only if it can be for failing to cooperate with the NFL rather than admitting to the Wells’ Report findings, per league sources.