In Overwatch, always pick a skin that shows your hero’s face. Otherwise you make the Blizzard animators cry for their hours of wasted, loving work.

That tracks. Very much like these pathetic wannabe soldiers, Pikachu won’t have anything to do with balls.

So y’all really wanna go full Palpatine with this, huh. 

It’s a taco conspiracy. 

You’re not wrong. But Nintendo has a current video game system, a popular distribution platform, and decades of IP backlog. If they wanted to sell me Mario 64 today, they could, in a corporate heartbeat. They could even do it on the PC if they really wanted. None of that makes pirating old games okay, but it does make…

At this point I’d just like to take the opportunity to say:

I can still feel the animation when you bounce off the walls. 

Apple and Google would spend $20 million on lawyers just to keep anyone else from trying it.

Telling managers to defy police and local municipal orders sounds pretty frantic to me. 

May those doors never open again. A bloated asshole of a company that deserved to die a long time ago: bury it next to Blockbuster. 

You know what’s weird? I’ve been working from home for a decade now, and I’m a self-admitted shut-in loner. Most weeks I might leave the house three or four times maximum. The easy joke is that things haven’t changed a lot for me, and they haven’t.

How is he hitting the snare? 

After years of having to check every time, I was recently told this brilliant mnemonic device: “discrete” is the one that means separate, because the “t” separates the two “e”s.

MAGoombas was right there. Just sayin’. 

Infinite hero varieties from alternate universes screams “grindy gacha collect-a-thon” to me.

My SO and my sister, neither one frequent gamers, both played it to completion. I think it had enormous broad appeal. 

Scizor: he’s what you’d get if an EVA had a baby with Dr. Zoidberg.

80s Trans-Am or Firebird would be my guess.

It’s not a video game. It’s money. That’s the only metric that matters anymore. 

Apparently Guile is slingin’ hair gel. But he should really be representing for razor companies.