Guess her love of bird betrayal overpowered her love of bird cock.

I'm heartbroken that Birdperson died. Completely. Silver lining though: he never has to learn that "The English Patient" and "Shakespeare In Love" won Oscars.

How dare that pizza delivery guy get him all riled up like that! That can't be good for Mr. Poopybutthole's recovery.

Did you get that…*sniff* thing I sent…

“Weddings are basically funerals with cakes.”

Just pray the animal scientists don't develop bulletproof vests.

Not choosing "Dr. Ken" for Franko's Cancellation League is like missing out on a fantasy football draft pick, who then goes on to have 20 touchdowns.

You don't know her struggle.

Now you're just winging it.

Well, at least James Wolk is still getting work. One of these days maybe he'll star in a good, successful show. One of these days…

I have to say, it's really fucking cool that he not only cites Emily's great reviews of the show, but also said that he "read some of the comments" on AVC and enjoyed them. He's been such a great comedian for so long, and is just a genuinely nice guy. I really, really hope we get another season of this show, since I'd…

That doesn't sound like it would ever jive with modern audiences. I mean, it's NBC.

But when will we see a meta Tumblr joke that combines bad Tumblr pages with even worse Tumblr pages?

I'd recommend looking up Bipasha Basu, Katrina Kaif, and Esha Gupta to you as well…but I'm not sure you'd ever get out of the bunk.

"If I score on you, I don't have to come to the wedding?"

Picturing Glenn Howerton say that in his absurdly low voice makes it that much better.

Probably wouldn't even make it through standards and practices. Jeez, those guys should loosen up!

At this point, we're just gonna keep going back and haphazardly adapting shit into TV series until we reach "The Great Train Robbery."

Now think about your dads. What're your dads like? I wanna meet those dads.

"Review" has so many great lines every week, but my favorites are almost always the voice-overs that Forrest does before/after a pivotal scene. "I could no longer sleep in my office as there was glass everywhere, and I believe my co-workers were conspiring to kill me on national television."