Time for the five minute masturbatory speech about how awesome this all is.

SAD GUITAR-PLAYING GIRL!

Yes, and that as well. My mistake.

Character actress Margo Martindale is very much alive and robbing banks all over L.A.

Nominated for Doubt. Never won, if memory serves.

If that one sad Jonathan Banks speech gets him the Emmy over Ben Mendelsohn, I'm gonna fucking riot.

Got a little excited that there might be some justice for The Americans. Then got sucked back into the real world.

Starting to get a headache from all this. Hope I'll be coherent enough for the Rick and Morty comment section. When the review gets posted at 5 A.M., that is.

Can't WAIT to read the think pieces on that one!

It's the most time they could get.

I was just about to angrily tweet at you asking why the next one isn't out yet.

They're good at that.

We said goodbye to you a while ago, Fred Savage.

That sucks, really enjoyed Nightingale. Thought David Oyelowo should win SOMETHING, you know?

The Emmys: making something involving Tatiana Maslany boring and unentertaining.

A no rough stuff-type speech.

GO BEARS!

I'll take a short and respectable Frances McDormand acceptance speech over PSA's and shitty singing any day.

OHHHHH YOU BETCHA!

Which is a great quality to have for the comedic host of an awards show!