Watch Oakland trade this motherfucker to the Pats.

Did you at least have the decency to wipe after excreting this?

“That’s 54,000 haircuts!” - Mark Davis

Pull the RV into the Golden Corral and eat one meal a day. Problem solved!

Rivers would have to become a serial killer and name himself “The LA Charger Who Kills People” for more than 1 in 10 people to realize this team isn’t still in San Diego.

“Hey everybody! This cookie is free if you steal it!”

When a troll and a dickhead fight, everybody loses. (See: McGregor v Mayweather)

I guess since Melania cured the drug epidemic, we might as well hand out ketamine to suicidal veterans. Party in the USA!

Yes, good on the Mom and Pop conglomerate known as Sony.

“Smart Water: The Official Water of Motorcycle Accidents”

I suggest the residents ask the good people of Baltimore how they deal with a group of birds barfing and shitting all over the place on a near-daily basis.

Refusing a free shot of whiskey is the LEAST Irish thing ever.

Someone’s nice dinner could get ruined if a protester scolds them about committing atrocities.

I’m sure those autocrats also like torture and putting kids in cages, but it doesn’t mean first-world countries should. 

Have you tried swiping his Metamucil?

Won’t somebody please think of the shareholders!?

was sentenced in Ingham County Court today to up to a year in jail

I counter that calling someone a “forking icehole” is still good fun.

Don’t draft a player when he says his best friend is his mother.

Seems like a pretty cheesy dude.