Trump sucks and Mexico isn’t paying for his dumb wall. So no, he’s not keeping his “promises”, as shitty as they were.

“the female”? What are you, a fucking Dalek?

I realized I hadn’t watched enough football recently when I assumed the Bears would make all the field goals and saw some other guy kicking for them.

Black Dynamite fights a nunchuku-wielding Tricky Dick.

It’s like those discount baskets of bread you find at the supermarket. Sure, you’re getting a deal, but then the baguette calls you a pussy and you realize why it was so easy to acquire.

Rand Paul issued a strong rebuke by texting Trump a frowny emoji.

Then get a divorce. A spouse will be a lot less hurt free of a marriage where their partner doesn’t love them/and or cheats on them.

The appearance of “Megadoodoo” was definitely the low point of the Godzilla franchise.

White then cooled down the situation by letting the reporter know she has nice legs.

Does Bill Simmons’ style of strained, pop-culture reference infused writing spread like “The Thing”?

Mary and Joseph would be “eligible” for asylum, but Jesus would have to be born and raised in a cold, dirty cage as Trump intentionally slowed down the asylum process.

Don’t forget call someone a pedophile!

We can make fun of multiple things.

Just don’t get pissy when Trump uses your money to buy a self-portrait and Tebow crap.

And we all thought Nathan Peterman would be the most pointless addition in California this week.

Let’s see you guys make a jumpshot with your mom on your back.

Old empty stadium demolished to build taxpayer-funded new empty stadium.

+1

promises a process that uses as its sole criterion for lending “the value of the asset(s) we secure as loan collateral.”

The Teen Wolf retrospective should be exciting.