Young Dickey was apparently fond enough of Roberto Petagine to give him the one name treatment.

*gently pushes O-lineman aside, breaks Andrew Luck’s spine*

And it’s all possible thanks to maroons who also desperately need healthcare voting for these scumbags because “small gubmint” or “Obama is a communist mooslim”.

“I’m trying to help you. I’m trying to help you.”

I judge a movie on one simple merit: how much is it like Predator? If mother! runs about a 60% Predator similarity score, I’ll probably give it a look.

Well, let’s calculate: if you are 0.0% likely to partake in forced sodomy, then alcohol will have no effect . So I agree, for whatever otherwise “normal” individuals that MIGHT be thinking of forcing an object into another person’s anus (perhaps it’s just a passing fancy while sober!), they probably shouldn’t buy that…

I’d rather him just play Luther in a Bond movie. Fuck all the fancy bullshit and just rough the bad guys up.

Until he’s not. Because he’s make-believe.

I don’t need ESPN to tell me Andy Dalton sucks or that Trump is a white supremacist. Some things are just obvious enough on their own.

And those employers can refuse to hire a rapist. Just because he’s free doesn’t mean the rest of the world has to forget that he’s a rapist. There can also be consequences for actions aside from those imposed by the law.

If it means less Michael Kay on the television I think we’re all winners.

How does a baseball game take this long without Joe West being involved?

Give me the gas leak episode with multiple Jacks and Michael Keaton.

“But hope is not lost. Because perhaps you, dear reader, are a resident of Alabama”

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Blame the boys downstairs.” - Antonio Cromartie’s penis

Mo Lewis needs to redeem himself and hit Brady with a tire iron.

You’d think his being buddies with Chris Christie would have taught him to get this stuff pinned on underlings.

Fortunately soon the cops will have a rocket launcher to point at you when they say this.

The brokerage specialized in deals on Mets tickets, but the buyers filed complaints because they were expecting to see a baseball game.

I will celebrate my Irish heritage by hurling this weekend as well.