Is that what it's called? I've been doing that for years!

Jumping out of the backseat of a car because of a spider and falling flat on my face in the middle of the road. Fortunately, I didn't get run over because the car stopped in time. I just had really bad gashes on my knees and elbows. But looking up to see a restaurant's patio laughing at me was probably more painful…

I think he only finds atheist women insufferable. That overshoots his limit for critical thinking in women.

GUYS, I figured it out. It's her brother!

Holy shit, he's a complete psychopath.

Me too...lol, Google just had a surge in searches for "lavender marriage".

It's really gross how they try to out-douche each other – is there a prize on bodybuilding.com for the biggest douche?

When I was 7, my Mom turned to me and said, "You know Santa's not real, right? You're old enough to know that by now." I was devastated. We weren't even religious! But I wanted to believe in Santa.

My parents are in their seventies and they'd figure that shit out probably die.

LOLZ, just a placebo effect.

That's pretty much what Freaknik in mid-90's Atlanta was. What do you know, it's not around anymore.

Why don't they try to determine who wasn't molested by Bill Cosby instead? It's getting ridiculous.

Shouldn't the question be "Who here isn't embarrassed by the person they lost their virginity to"?

What do you call the useless piece of skin attached to a penis?

Apropos of nothing, I once had a boss gift me with this coconut shell bra upon his return from Hawaii. He "joked" that I should feel free to wear it to the office. :|

"...if there is any real truth in this world, it is that shitty people will find a way."

Make sure to take public transportation, even if it's only a ferry!