For sure. I could look like a new and improved version of Kim K!

It's actually perfect because you can be whoever you want to be! Why spend all that money on surgery when you can just buy this?

Have you invented anything that stops your husband from going behind your back and giving your cat treats? That's what I need.

yes! They also do this with elderly Asian people, who can only be wise and knowing.

or the nerdy black/latino/other minority character who acts "too white" (Fresh Prince, Urkel...).

Interesting. Maybe that scent is what I detect when I think of being with my cousins. There's definitely a strong incest-repulsion factor...maybe because I can literally "see" the similarity in our facial features. I don't know.

#notallamericans!

LOLZ so true. BUT If she found the magical fountain of youth and suddenly appeared as herself circa 2001, they'd criticize her clothing choices as being inappropriate for "a woman over 30."

Remember that "hot teacher" who slept with a 14 y.o. boy? She's a prime example of a criminal who received lots of male internet attention:

I refuse to read anything past "cats are played out."

I'm inspired by your list. THANKS!

On my boyfriend's suggestion, we went to see the movie 300 with both of my parents. Sitting next to my dad during the lesbian sex scene was FUN. My bf was in the doghouse for months. :)

I love you! I'd marry you but I'd be messing up your horoscope. ;)

:0 According to that rule, I should delete my whole account.

Hah. Some of the pictures on Instagram are so mind-numbingly boring. I've stopped checking it because I have a friend who posts 4-5 pics a day of the same things in rotation. Pic of a smoothie, pic of her dog, pic of her barista's coffee "art", pic of her dinner...then the next morning it starts again. I feel like she…

Lolz, I was pretty shocked when I looked up Moshe Kantor and thought she was dating him. No big deal!

Do you mean Moshe Kasher? I just looked up her bf and when I saw Moshe Kantor I was pretty surprised, until I figured out that the name of her bf is Moshe Kasher. Totally different – but I don't know anything about him, either.

did you have to mention that?

That'd be perfect if you could first do a mold of your own vagina, to provide a perfect fit.

Excellent point! It's scary how close that is to my description.