It absolutely will not stop, unless it sees its shadow.

Robot groundhog is scary.

I’m not really a fan of him or his music, and I still find his personality pretty obnoxious. But going from being admittedly abusive in relationships to not abusive in and disrepectful of romantic relationships is, yeah, pretty literally a personal improvement.

It just occurred to me that it must be fucking ex-hausting to be a Kardashian...so much thirsty work...

I want a hat like this that I wear open by default and which I then close slowly (while maintaining a deadpan expression, natch) when people are bothering me

This is easy. I was broken up with by my middle school boyfriend’s mom over the phone.

I should also add that the next three days were a NIGHTMARE. I had to sleep in the same bed as him, and he asked me if I wanted to go sightseeing. NO!?!?! I had to figure out my life! I had just moved three months ago, and I had to figure out what I wanted to do next. I ended up moving back to the west coast after…

I had a break up like this once. I was dating a guy who liked me more than I liked him and he was veering into controlling territory. We’d only been seeing each other for a couple of months and he was leaving my house and moping a bit about the fact I had plans with friends that weekend. I just said, “this isn’t…

I typed out the story of my first break up but realized it is 1) probably as generic as it is dramatic and 2) I’m apparently afraid that the same nattering group of former church friends from 12 years ago will see it, doxx me, and resume gossiping about me!

Yeah, it seems oddly thoughtful - like a breakup care package. “Sorry it didn’t work out, here’s some chocolates, some sad music CDs, a few sappy DVDs, and some sweatpants to lounge around in.”

Making an account just for this.

You know, the more I think about it, a note in a box of (nice) chocolates might be my preferable way to break up. 

I had been seeing Andrew (yes, that’s his real name) for about a year when mutual friends of ours announced their engagement. These friends were the first in both of their families to marry, so both families wanted to make the wedding A Very Big Deal. The adorable couple (henceforth known as AC) made all the plans,…

Oh geez. I have a story of basically the opposite - I meant to stay with a guy through his birthday because it seemed cruel to leave him right then, but accidentally I spilled that I found his scent/hormones really off-putting and had really only dated him because I was lonely, and then I found out his mom died the…

Mine is only ridiculous in how mundane and... perfect (?) it was.

Blink-182 broke my up with my first girlfriend.

I dated my first girlfriend (Kristen for this story) during the summer of 1998.

Late nights talking. Holding hands. Lots of making out. We even got busted once making out in her bathroom by her little sister, who promptly ran out to tell her father. He was surprisingly…

In high school, the day of homecoming, which I was supposed to go to with my boyfriend. I was at the football game with some of my friends, and my boyfriend was there with some of his friends (he went to the rival school). I was talking to him and some other people and this girl, ugh, fucking Julia, said something alon…

No, I asked one friend because he is writer and I am a writer and we have both been journalists.

As a non-American, I had to smile at your comment because it’s such an American way of viewing the issue. Whether from the left or the right, it always comes down to money. The article and a lot of the author’s critics make the point that she’s profiting from Mexicans’ pain, and your proposed remedy is that the…

The twist is that she was killed by Encyclopedia Brown.