This piece was so villainous. I’ll be sure to check in tomorrow for Drew’s heroic counterpoint.

No. Just no. This zombie bullshit has got to stop. It’s played out. It wasn’t all that cool or whatever to begin with. It’s just stupid, this, uh, thing is ugly as shit and you couldn’t pay me enough money to put it in my driveway where the public can see it.

Fuck that. This was the best thing that ever happened to this kid, and he was in no way ‘damaged’ to the point of 15 million dollars.

I read that in a Clarkson voice

How fitting for Thanksgiving — it’s like a transportation turducken!

I ACTUALLY KNEW ABOUT THIS! I DID A PROJECT ON IT IN HIGHSCHOOL

It can turn invisible and it can go mach 10

Drew, you’re ignoring the best part of Christmas week (at least if you work in an office): it’s the one time of the year where nobody really cares what you do while you’re there. People at my company all the way up the ladder will roll in two hours late every day that week, take a 90 minute lunch and leave by 4. The…

There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling Seahawks fans to suck it.

I like the WRX, but not the flat-bill Monster hat that is required for ownership.

I really hope that couple from the coffee story are still together and fighting crime with funky disco beats, choreographed truck moves, and the unwavering ability to tell someone to shut the fuck up.

This lovely man came in every day, I burned his bread, and he left a $5.00 tip on a $4.00 meal. One time, he heard me (quietly, I swear) talking to another waitress about how I couldn’t afford to have my other cat spayed yet, and when he left, I found $100.00 under the cup for my cat.

You know you fucked up when Philadelphia has the moral high ground

This car preserves the driver’s Virginity

To be fair, you can’t hurry Love. No, you just have to wait.

Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway...

Jim Caldwell is as upset as I have ever seen him.

Slut Life. I mean, Salt Life

How ass-backwards do you have to be as a feminists to promote a child rapist and murderer on your site Jezebel?

This person butchered a child and stuffed her in a suitcase and set her on fire. Fact.