Day 1 as CEO of BMW, I announce... a new car company. EMW. Seriously. Hear me out.

$200k to spend and you’re asking for advice? He doesn’t have a pretty solid opinion of what he wants, or does he simply want to tell someone he has $200k to blow to gloat? 

My car is old enough to have 2 kids, a messy divorce, and a questionable Tinder account.

Do you? More features doesn’t equal more value. I’d argue that a base shitbox is more value still than most crossovers that cost more.

How many of you feel like your car drives happier when it's clean?

I mean she’s a travelling nurse and no one suggested a medical chuck wagon.

I’m just saying this because I have a weird unjustifiable liking towards these things. And given that she’s not looking for anything particularly exciting, just needs efficient and spacious transportation, why not? Wagons make everything cooler...even a Prius, right? -

If they leave the market, where will I get my pleather assless chaps with the name of my local dealership on them?

A few shots of the actual car have been taken! I think it looks quite good!

gas, grass or ass.. nobody rides for free

Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham has a matched set.

“Used Privately — Never as a Taxi!!!”

Neutral: an interesting, but attainable vehicle.

Idiot. No. It is not about being faster. It is about engagement and being connected to the car. Doing things yourself and enjoying every single aspect about actually DRIVING.

How is this not a spaceship diagram? Sure, it’s an older model, but...

No need to discharge good seamen so hastily.

Any discipline they may have received has been kept under wraps, although the investigating officer recommended “non-punitive letters of instruction.”

Thank God I was young before cellphones

Is 20% just the tip?

I read the title wrong- I thought you could order a drive shaft from the accessories catalog.