They discussed inflation in the text exchange.

I love that it’s a PT Cruiser, which is like the poster car for vapid people with no taste.

it’s time to watch pre-teens do amazing baseball things while thinking, “Hmmmm, are we sure that kid is only 12?”

UPDATE: it appears Tenny Sandgren is a douche as well.  

You seem pretty high too.

I agree. He didn’t get two feet down despite making a baseball move.

That’s a really nice gesture, and something he can be way more proud of than his Marlins 2003 ring.

+1 dead father

Jordan would have let it slide to make sure the team covered.

The fact that he was falsely accused of a crime is just further proof that Whitehead isn’t Cowboys material.

Half of Chicago is now memorizing Mike Glennon’s full name and DOB, *fingers crossed* just in case.

He’s got oxy????!!!! Sign the man right now.

Fortunately he missed Dee’s nuts

Plus it’s not like the fuel that Sherman uses is going to burn hot enough to destroy Russell Wilson’s foundation.

Daylight savings strikes again.

Not pictured: Jason Whitlock masturbating furiously off-camera

Asked about Allen’s pronunciation of Cousins’ first name, a team spokesman said it sounded that way because of the Redskins president’s accent.

God damnit Zeke stop getting yourself in trouble YOU’RE GOING TO SPEND HALF THE SEASON SUSPENDED AND THEN WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO GET MY FANTASY POINTS IN MY KEEPER LEAGUE?!?!?

So this will be the second time he’s portrayed a blind guy.

I was this close to exposing that guy until you published this article.