one large pregnant pause in Gina’s and Jay’s lives

Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

No pregnant pauses in this one-breath report.

In this woman’s defense, she’s at least given me a reason to re-watch one of my favorite West Wing clips

“It’s not a pick and choose what you want to believe.”

I imagine her giving the “Y’know, the Jews had pieces of flair” speech from Office Space with absolute seriousness.

Kudos to whoever edited out the other 8000 plus words.

As does Ligue 1:

Does that mean the Premier League sucks ass too?

I believe they’re called “pedophiles”.

It’s saying Laurel, how is this even a blog post

That shit switched from Yanny to Laurel on me and now I’m bugging out. FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, PATRICK.

I blame the parents for letting their kids be so into video games. When I become a parent, I’m sure I’ll end up buying my kids a console, but they won’t be able to play it for more than an hour at a time and they’ll be forced to be active in all kinds of sports! And while they’re outside playing or at practice, I will…

In closing, we only have about 3 weeks left

you take that back immediately. take back my life song. my powers turned on, starting right now, and i don’t really care i still got a lot of fight left in me

Out of all the characters in this story, I think I like the bulldog the most.

As a Tribe fan, these people are the worst. I removed my Wahoo decals and started only buying gear without the Chief pretty much right after I went to opening day and saw those protesters. Literally the only argument I ever needed, and should ever be needed.

America was never as good as you previously thought it was, and it’s not as bad as you currently think it is.

*extremely guy walking into a weekday, daytime baseball game voice*

Now that the Red Sox and both Chicago teams have won Series’ recently we really need a fun name for Cleveland’s struggles that’ll bring back some of that fun Billy Goat-Bambino stuff that Baseball’s so good at.