It really was a solid tangent.

I would cosine his rant, but that probably isn’t a good idea considering his feeling on the Pythagorian Theorem.

Sometimes the Baseball Man is a self-righteous asshole but other times the Baseball Man is fun and good.

No, it still is.

This is a bad take

Sometimes I worry about the future, then I read stories like this and I’m all, “Yeah, no, I’ll never lack for work.”

Nats fan here, and I feel the same way. Harvey was ridiculous, and fun to watch even when he went against my team. Baseball is better with guys dominating like he was. I can’t say how much of the issue is his shoulder, and how much is his head, but I’m fairly certain the Mets have helped neither through their…

I will be shocked if this man doesn’t end up as an 89 MPH pitcher on St. Louis who somehow ends up with a 3.35 ERA and wins 18 games, as their #3 option.

MOTHERFUCK Ereck Flowers.

We’ll give you a chance to come back. No we won’t.

What’s funny is that the number 69 can also be used to refer to a sex act.

It is my most fervent wish to throw out a first pitch. I will fling that ball in there at 85+ and everyone will be like “lol wtf why didn’t you kick that.”

Sucks when someone fucks you non-consensually, doesn’t it?

My apologies for failing to note this in the piece, but I have NEVER received used footwear from the White Sox or any other professional baseball franchise. I’m an objective, unbiased observer. Thanks.

obligatory

Charcoal is wonderful, but you know what else is pretty good? Turning a knob, pressing a button, and having a hot grill ten minutes later and then not having to deal with a cauldron of ashes a couple hours after the meal. That’s decent, too.

Oh man, I inexplicably loved Billy Jo too. I remember telling my best friend’s dad on the first day of the ‘87 season that the Brewers were gonna run away with the AL East because of their rookie 1B. He looked at me like I was someday gonna be an idiot Deadspin commenter.