The way I feel about Kelis is how everyone seems to feel about Beyonce. I just die. I gush and I die and I sweat and I turn. it. up. I just do not understand how she isn't some sort of mega star. She has so much more to offer besides Milkshake and Bossy. EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION TO KELIS. SHE'S WORTH IT. SHE'LL…

I live here now!

Hey, remember that time when Family Guy didn't exist and Seth McFarlane wasn't being paid to make jokes on the Oscars about sexual assault?

She was there when we needed her. She did not intrude.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Applebee's

I love this woman. That is all.

And age, but mainly lightness of skin.

I was STARING at Viola Davis's picture up there wondering in what way she is not beautiful. Light skinned is pretty much the only metric here.

RIGHT@!? kara keeps tackling issues that would have just had me quoting followed by like "THE FUCK IS THIS?" or "ARE YOU EVEN SRS RN?" or "LOL NO GO DIE"

Or "How to Miraculously Keep Your Prestigious Job at One of the World's Biggest Newspapers While Completely Sucking Balls At It In a Manner Akin to a Fiery Car Crash Despite The Certain Fact That There Are Probably Hundreds of TV Critics Who Would Write Better and Fuck Up Much Less In Your Position"

Excellent article, Kara.

May Dog have mercy on their souls.

How hard should I be laughing that the ad preceding the clip is actually an ad for NFL Mobile? I mean, I am high, so I am laughing pretty hard. I'm just wondering if it is hard enough.

I wish more companies would pander to my interests like this.

I wondered if anyone else had realized that these two characters are a cat and a dog, personified!

She's a little lady cat with a questionable name. I'm not completely convinced of the whole "tard" being short for "tardar sauce" [sic] explanation.

In the same way wearing Groucho MArx glasses might be anti-Semitic.

Does the fake butt seem more brown/tan, too, or am I pulling extra racism out of an Instagram filter?

Ugh, Miley. It's only 9:47am and you've already ruined my day. Just stahp.