Settle down, Tim Cook.

Dude, it’s worth getting the shot just for the improved 5G reception!

call me a selfish asshole, but the top two concerns i would have had as a driver in that video are getting out of the intersection and getting the fuck away from the flaming gas station.

Here’s how you order a drink without looking like an idiot:

Not gonna deny, a Cracked-style “listicle that’s nothing but links to our earlier, better content” is pretty embarrassing to see.

I’ll just say it. I hope Alito, Thomas, and for good measure, Kavanaugh just die soon and human beings are appointed to the seats they left vacant.

fuck you, leave

The American dream is to be able to leave America nowadays.

This is horrific. These children should be enjoying their childhood, marrying their cousins and drinking moonshine.

imagine getting a 1 in 85 billion loot drop instead of winning the lottery

Bravo. A fantastic idea and article. Perfect for these times.

My only guess is that they must make a TON of money off selling our location data, and having their players stay home must seriously cut into that.

I can understand banning but fines that are reported to a collection agency is insane. If I paid for the ticket, fuck you.

I’d love for a day to go by without hearing about this guy.

<looks around at objective reality>

Well...

For the love of ALL THAT IS HOLY please kill the contemplative piano as a trope.  I'm a fucking blue hedgehog I don't wanna contemplate I wanna GO FAST

I really don’t understand this guy. He’s rich, he owns several companies, he has the ability to go anywhere and do basically anything, why is he shitposting on Twitter?

On behalf of all Kinja, let me thank you for not putting this in a slideshow or a video.