[Citation Needed]

Who dat?

Vasectomies for some, miniature American flags for others!

It’s not even August and I already wish the NFL would go the fuck away.

Too many toes and a hard tackle.  Rex Ryan just soaked his beanbag chair

I’m so hungry now

It appears you’re writing a petition that requests your gargantuan employer to give up millions of government dollars and risk the wrath of Trump supporters. Would you like my help?

Why do lenders need to be protected, exactly? They dictate the terms of the loan and they’ve effectively made it the hardest debt to ever erase. 

Don’t feed the troll.

That’s nothing - I’ll be working at my job until I’m at LEAST 65. And I don’t even like it! 

why wasn’t she looking at the flag while the anthem was playing? i was always taught to stare at the flag until the anthem was over, even if my eyes watered. never avert your gaze from that holy cloth because it holds supernatural powers that fill our hears with patriotism and love of country but hate of the people in…

I always thought the sign at Tent and Trails looked like it said “Entrails.”

I’m overly amused at the idea of this group at a Japanese restaurant being a Coldplay cover band.

tronc calls meeting with entire Daily News staff.

Jesus. Who’d have thunk that in 2018 America so many stupid, half-literate white people would rush desperately to the defense of an old racist rich guy who owns a totally useless business that profits by underbidding and cutting corners, who created some of the ugliest branding in the history of capitalism, who has a…

“While I am not a racist, here’s where I say a bunch of racist shit.”

I just wish Obama would stop dividing this country.

At least we can all agree that race is no longer an issue.  

It is worth noting, now and forever, that the players are protesting the fact that agents of the government are murdering unarmed teenagers in the street. Anyone offended, annoyed or inconvenienced by the protests can eat a bottomless bag of dicks.

How could they not CTE this coming?