For me, melted chocolate IS the lazy route. Ghiradelli chips and cinnamon with a little bit of boiling water just to melt the chocolate, stir, add whole milk and into the microwave it goes. It’s faster than the cocoa and less messy too.

But animals eat poop for undigested nutrients, so someone soon is sure to suggest humans do the same, since it’s nature’s way.

Don’t give them ideas.

I wonder if hot soup or fruit crumble are served.

He hasn’t got a mullet, this makes me very shad.

When this happened, were you:

Yes, this is truly glorious.

The NJ turnpike used to be this bad before they changed the merge of the truck and car lanes. I remember one fateful drive on the turnpike that was bumper to bumper on a Wednesday night. It was pitch black, the only light around from the car on fire on the left shoulder.

Clearly he’s from Georgia. The New York or Jersey version:

I know absolutely nothing about Thrush personally but this news does not surprise me. I was always suspicious he was a asshole or worse.

And the senior senator from Ohio.

Alternate take: get your lazy ass domestic partner to help.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say “time to move to another gym.” Not only are people nasty at yours, but clearly the gym doesn’t have good janitorial services if you are seeing that filth all the time.

I propose David Letterman for the first one.

OMFG, the helicopter (s) are hovering like annoying mosquitos above my house for over an hour and a half now. Good for bovine puns, but otherwise come on, guys, is this a slow news day or what?

For me it will always be this, the one and only time I was up all night shivering—even though its TV, not a film.

More than 50? How is he still alive?

Attention, you can get it from airline seats! Happened to me this summer, and it was a horror show by the time I realized my rash was from lice bites, not sunburn.