Sadly it will be 2020. I will celebrate when the time comes, if I haven’t already popped a blood vessel over traffic on the BQE.

Came for this, was severely disappointed.

After eating, see:

It’s not always like that. I had to put our much younger cat down because he was going blind from a brain tumor and suffering kidney failure and peeing everywhere. I was expecting what your mom experienced, but the vet gave him a sedative first and he was purring in my arms as he went to sleep. So I’m glad I did it…

Isn’t that a job requirement at Fox?

#PreyforHouston

+1 GIF

I protest this phenomenon if only because it would deprive us of this:

There’s a whole language of car honks in New York, no?

I don’t give a shit about your parking problems. Just don’t be one of those tools who moves their car to my block because “it’s closer to the subway” or I will fucking end you.

This technique worked for one kid, but not for the other. He is now  a teen, and will eat what I serve, but with such as sad face that I only plate a little and let him finish the meal with cheese or peanut butter and bread.

So if you’re having a shit day, I promise you it’s probably not as worse as what that lady went through. Airplane parenting is the worst thing on Earth, but mix in barf and it’s a whole new dimension of suffering.

Looking forward to it.

Get with it, Jena’s on the rebound from Luke and Becky’s with Adam.

he does none of the heavy lifting

If I’m working with someone on time sensitive materials, then yes, having a read receipt lets me know that the message has been received and s/he knows to work on it. We don’t have to waste our time by texting back “k!” or “ty!” These are far more irritating.

I get it every time the waitress brings me more coffee.

Nah, I’m sure it was pickled to begin with. But who subs an orange for a lemon?

Not sure if this counts, but I died laughing and this is a ghost writing here now.

Yes. After having constant sleepless nights angsting over my kids’ futures, the state of our finances, and the state of the domestic partnership, I can’t be bothered about my verbal fuckups anymore.