Tom Savage and Nathan Peterman are rushing to download the app now. Will keep you posted.

Vineyard Vines, old boy.

Or any name not sounding like Whitey McWealthywhite

Had I been the First Responder, I would have plugged that fucker in and hit “Potato.”

Right?

Carry on, my wayward sons.

Or maybe he’s a fucking idiot that got wasted, forgot he ordered food, and pointed a gun in the face of a girl delivering his food.

People who use custom ring tones are assholes. Just use the factory settings or, better yet, keep it on silent or vibrate. I use the McGyver theme song for mine.

Mannarino’s name sounds like his real last name is Manna, but Mannarino if you guys are tight.

Romo: Wow, at least Suh didn’t murder him, huh?

“He’ll spend the rest of this day at The Greybar Hotel,” he added. (Apparently, that’s slang for prison.)

I really, really hope Trump responds. Or dies. Whatever.

I used Apple Maps to get to the punchline...

You can also beat an undead horse in Denver, if you dare

We’ve always cheered for the laundry. At this point the team represents Oakland, not just baseball. It’ll be our last pro sports team, and it’s the only one we need.

This video makes me want to root for the asteroid in Armageddon.

A boat’s a boat, but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!

I’m also willing to put some of the fault on Coach Lebron and GM Lebron.

Delete Uber (and OTAs).