Look Bill Snyder gets very upset about drugs, just like that young Hollywood starlet Nancy Davis. Anyway, laudanum will wreck your life as quick as the drink. And that’s why Snyder supports temperance too.

I don’t think so. That sounds pretty correct for the collective America now.

We just collectively orgasmd over a made up word by the President and we’re supposed to act all normal now?

Cavs in two.

I think what they are alluding to is that after 6pm there’s Mormon than women out at the local bars.

Ugh, Dad, go back and wait in the car. I told you I’d be out in a minute.

Wrong Said Fred.

I work in IT, and can’t stress enough the importance of reliable backups.

Sanchez told the Daily News that she and her daughter were Reyes’ “road family,”

I assume they’ll follow the MLB’s concussion protocol, wherein Matt Moore hits Paul Goldschmidt in the head.

I’d like to think I would pull my hand away at the last second and brush back my luscious locks, but I am a bald Sixers fan so I can’t really imagine fighting for first or the hair.

“There’s never been a better time to ‘Steal the Show’ than with this heavily discounted AFC South matchup that will help determine the #1 overall pick in May’s NFL draft. Enter code ‘SAVAGEBORTLES’ at checkout.”

“I thought heptathletes couldn’t have babies because they were born with both parts?” - Emmitt Smith

Frank really believes in the concept of living life to it’s fullest. So long as ‘life’ is limited to smooth, efficient transportation options, the Mets, and an inability to act like a competent adult.

I reacted the same way during my presser after my last slo-pitch softball season, except instead of a reporter asking about my noble effort after a heartbreaking defeat, it was basically the drunken wife of one of my teammates spitting nacho bits in my face as she slurrily demanded to know how the fuck I managed to…

Letter Jacket Idea: Take it to Michael’s or some other framing/craft store and have them cut the letter off (saving all emblems, stars, bars or whatever right on the letter) and have them make a shadow box display.

I want to frame this comment and put it above my co-worker’s desk. The one who always gets put in charge of training new people, but fucks off on Youtube all day and doesn’t get shit done, leaving it all for other people to do instead?

David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jets