The Wizards could trade Alex Ovechkin for LeBron and kill two Wilbon birds with one non sequitur.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH DISMISSION

“We’ll handle the jokes today!”

I earn my brown stripes through poor diet and too much booze.

Also, JR has the emotional range of Zooey Deschanel.

Wait a minute—-next you’re gonna tell me that Rudy and Trump have seats at Yankee Stadium. You LIE! You...

Being a Raptors fan is like the movie Groundhog Day. Only, you know, the shittiest, least funny parts of the movie.

If someone told me to watch something on a CD then I, too, would throw it in the trash.

A point guard who is capable of a lot of assists, not a great shooter, but shoots with confidence, maybe even a little too much, sometimes shoots his team out of games but when they’re falling he carries the team on his back.

Worth noting that the title of the post is “Various Trader Joe’s Foodstuffs, Ranked” and not “The Best 28 (or 26) Items at Trader Joe’s”, so any omitted items are not necessarily ranked lower than those on the list. That said, the Fig and Olive Crisps, Carne Asada, Peppermint Joe-Joes and Jingle Jangle Ice Cream need…

11. Parmesan pastry pups

I can still hear my breath. In. Out. In. Out. Yet still, the silence was deafening. And then he said the words every man, woman and child would never forget: “One small step for man. One giant leap for mankind.” A human being had touched the surface of the moon. Well, two, if we’re counting me.

Thank god he has tapes! I hope he has 10000 Maniacs Our Time in Eden, because mine is about worn out.

+1 Bringing it back to sports.

[Note: The Duke is the official name of the NFL game ball; Luck wasn’t asked if he was throwing John Wayne around.]

The problem with a computer calling balls and strikes is that it can’t distinguish between a ball “in the zone” that should not be called a strike, i.e. an 0-2 pitch where the catcher sets up 6-10 inches off the plate and the pitcher completely misses his spot and throws it right down the middle. Now, because it’s “in…

The only thing worse than an adult man that brings a glove to a baseball game is an adult man that brings a glove to a baseball game and doesn’t know how to operate a baseball glove.

Man, some intern really wore out Shift+F7 on their keyboard.

Why?

This is a good joke. I like this joke. I gave it a star. It’s funny.