It can’t be fun for Lakers fans to realize that their title hopes rest on “Well, we know what LeBron and AD can do ... now, if only Dwight Howard can get his shit together for 82 games plus the playoffs.”

Diana Burnwood: Good morning, 69. Your targets are known respectively as The Painter and The Pruner.

OMG it keeps going?! Y’all are everything. 

Okay I love this. 

I saw the Fuck Punts open for the Pixies in 1989.

In a land comprised of servers and hosts

It would be a shame to not take advantage of Jackson’s skills, but doesn’t running more increase his odds of injury?

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting—
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from…

Also Union Berlin, Rayo Vallecano, Livorno, Beşiktaş... no-one particularly "big" it must be said. 

Now this is a story all about how Will Smith’s do-gooder roles got flipped-turned upside down, and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how he became a Netflix drug dealer, in this new movie that will air!

You can’t have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat.

Try scrolling down a funbag on mobile sometime! It’s like the same ad between every paragraph, 20 times in a row!

Co-sign 100%. Also, what’s the reasoning for removing the top article previews when you hover over sister site headers at the top of the page? That used to drive me to other articles of interest across the entire G/O Media family & now I rarely find myself on any site other than Deadspin & Lifehacker. If they’re all…

Where are the app developer commenters? Let’s get a pool together and have a reader app created kinda like the ones you can get for reddit to get around their brand of annoying shit.

Not related to this specific post, but . . .

They give out a free cuppa whip cream. They call it a “pupachino” but you don’t even hafta have a dog with you. Just tell ‘em it’s outside, bam, free whip cream.

And a higher win percentage than Kyle Shanahan.

The actual Tomsula Index is a list of businesses that will let you use their bathroom without having to buy anything. 

right?

I watched several seasons of Burn Notice for less charismatic actors than this. Please be good enough.