Nice things? Hmmmmm...

The whole thing played without buffering ❤️

“What’s most obnoxious about this clip is how Fey is encouraging people to actively ignore neo-Nazis, by characterizing the protests as “violent” and urging those who might otherwise be encouraged to physically show up to stay at home.”

You’ll notice the red (dress), white (skin), and blue (background) that signifies the French flag. France the country that gave us the baguette. Baguettes that get stale after a few hours. Hours, not theirs. They’re trying to steal our country.

I think I’ve figured out the code: If you give a guy a boner, you’re “curvy.” If you don’t, you’re “fat.”

Old creeper is all bark and no bucks.

“He likes to wear a T-shirt with a photo of a young girl sitting on the knee of an older man, reading “ACCEPTING APPLICATION 4A SUGAR BABY,”...”

“I can show you my bank account. I don’t have any assets. I don’t have money, just enough to live. I don’t have money for a sugar baby.”

Mr. Big was Governor of Illinois, right? Till he cheated on Nurse Hathaway?

I’ll never forgive her for betraying Mozart for that evil Salieri...

TONI COLLETTE IS A TREASURE! EDUCATE YOURSELF.

Bible-verse co-workers are the worst.

However, the real reason Spicer turned down the offer, according to the source, was an “overwhelming number of commitments in the Fall.”

This is a ridiculous product I will never buy but has nonetheless improved my day b/c now I know it’s not *just me* getting mountain dew while I prep and maybe I’m not the schvitziest broad this side of a D cup.

You can pry my LaCroix from my cold, dead hand.

Vagina Slims.

Aaaaaah, so good.

Just want to say you really want to avoid the slow clap. It’s known to be antibiotic resistant.

If that haircut doesn’t earn Kate Hudson her oscar nothing will! (Nothing will.)

I hold Drew Barrymore personally responsible for the current state of my eyebrows, as do many Gen Xers. The fact that her eyebrows grew back does not endear her to me.