As a stay in bed mom, I admire your commitment to One Room.

He’s only had 2 drinks, just like that pansy Tom Scocca suggested

We aren’t chopping our tree until tomorrow, but please enjoy my nutcrackers.

Happy Saturday Social, all! After several months away, I’m slowly coming back to the Jez community. I’d love to hear what everyone has been up to!

I loved all those tiny things. The food, tea sets, glasses, just everything.

This is a brilliant story. My barbies never had any fake food! I actually didn’t even know that was a thing, and now I’m retrospectively jealous.

Honest question: did anyone else not have any body hang ups about their barbies? I was a major tomboy growing up, so my poor barbies spent most of their surviving earthquakes (bed being viciously shaken), tornadoes (hurled out of tree), floods (....boy, my mom was pissed about that one), generally being all around…

Channing Tatum as ken Channing Tatum as ken Channing Tatum as ken

You should consider a career at the Pawnee Sun.

HA! I didn’t think it could get worse than Fluffy! But, I was wrong, Glamma. So wrong. I’m delighted right now!

My grandma wanted us to call her “Fluffy,” most hilariously. This did not work out.

My childhood friend called her maternal grandfather Hubba! I always thought it was equal parts wacky and adorable which fit him perfectly.

Stupid hat? Check.

My college roommate called his grandfather “Humpa.” Millennial dads, you’re doing it wrong if your kid isn’t calling you “Humpa.”

every pic i’ve been able to find actually turns out to be bill murray’s ass - sorry.

As always:

My husband used the word shade around his parents, so I felt the need to give a 10-minute explanation of the word, its origin, and correct usage— specifically throwing shade vs. a read. Near minute nine I realized I misjudged my audience and no one cared. I still finished strong and feel like I made the world a better…

Look, he said “drain the swamp.” Well, he drained the water out of the swamp so all the swamp creatures are free to roam about.

Remember, Hillary wasn’t liberal enough. Either we want the perfect candidate or just blow it all to hell, apparently.

This is a nightmare for those who are worried about immigration. Jeff Sessions is extremely dangerous because he actually knows quite a lot about how the immigration system works, in minute details. He’s not a dumb man either. He knows exactly where to stick the knife.