The “Hit Me Baby One More Time” one just made my morning.

Non sequitur;

Recycled joke: The show is called Hollywood Medium because it’s not well done.

One of these days, you’re going to have to come to grips with the reality that adult’s lives are not ordained by their parents. We are not Victorian maidens in need of stern chaperoning. People taking huge creative risks is what gives us Mark Rothko and Josephine Baker and Sergei Prokofiev and Ai Weiwei and Kendrick…

I don’t even have a kid to thank for my lopsided boobs. These are ALLLL genetics, baby.

You don’t need to defend Hitler, this isn’t the hill to die on.

In a fit of jealousy, Jimmy Fallon photoshopped the muscles off of Ronda and onto himself.

But whole milk is gross. Actually, drinking any milk past baby stage is gross. The only decent things dairy does are cheese and ice cream; milk alone is vile.

I am not a fancy person. I have never received a Lexus with a big red bow. I don’t live in a Rococo Olive Garden Barbie Dream House. But that is a low rent book signing, Theresa.

I can’t listen to that.

Not sure how Winona overlaps with her career, what a strange ZEN DAYAGRAM

t-pain is the clear winner today.

what, the Cheddar Bey Biscuits?

Jim Gilmore hasn’t stopped running because when he quits he’ll have to stop expensing his Applebees.

So Kristen Stewart is....Taken?

The number of times I’ve forgotten I had drugs on me and got through security easily and didnt remember until I was off the plane is somewhere between 5 and 10.

They must have gotten along pretty well because he invited her along to the recording studio where she met West, Diddy, French Montana, Kid Cudi and 2 Chainz. Guess that was the one time it was worth it to use Uber Pool.

I’ve been drinking my hot chocolate with Rumchata and it is amazing.

#FingersInTheBooty?Yass,Bitch!