As a conservative (now married, so I am only DTF with Mrs. MetalKing’sRevenge), I can say your statement is demonstrably false. Many of us lean very heavily Libertarian.

Conservative here. Not sure if you mean this comment as a positive or negative, but my response is: I agree.

I’m of two minds on you take.

No dice. This is clearly the Pootie Tang walk:

These are the shit, and we cannot get them in Wisconsin. I always grab a big bag when I visit my mom in Virginia.

Finally...finally a non-soccer post. Christ, I watched some of that crap while getting my haircut today. Never seen so much flopping and injury faking since [insert last time I watched soccer]. Do coaches encourage that shit? How can any professional athlete have so little dignity and sportsmanship.

Excellent read, but I still have one question: How did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?

I wore a 15-pound beard of bees for that woman, but it just wasn’t enough.

+1 sausage or taco.

They are the fucking worst.

Bonus points for ingenuity, but this goes against the lazy man’s code.

Extra credit.

Brilliant. I was just discussing this with a friend at work today. People from Texas tell me they add salt to their coolers. She blinded me with science!

I regards to music, I can listen to it on speakers, and not have an issue focusing. On headphones though, no dice. Something about the speaker makes it part of the background, and sometimes helps me focus (ie. not to quiet). Using headphones makes me more aware of it.

Ingenious, but I still like my method that I use while on business trips. I call it “The Travelers Friend”. Fill one of the room trashcans with ice from the hallway machine, and stick the beers in that (not so far that the part your mouth touches actually contacts the can, of course). The average motel trash can is…

Not to be mean, but...you didn’t get paid to write this article, did you?

Well done. If we live in a world where worms are bugs, then a plain loaf of bread can be called a bread sandwich. And I don’t want to live in that world.

If they’re what I suspect they are, they’re not actually lady bugs. Do they stink? If so, you’ve got Japanese Lady Beatles...not to be confused with lady bugs. Every spring in Wisconsin, we are invaded by these awful stinking things all over the windowsills of our houses.

Apparently the shoulder-shaving, showering, and exercising robots were in the shop for the day.

Good on you. Next thing you know, they’ll forcing us to eat hotdog sandwiches in the stalls of transgender bathrooms so that we we can create vegan safe spaces.