“They never should have gave you rapists money!”

I love that those two tweets came all of three minutes apart. I’m picturing it as the “Yeah, I remember grinding my feet on Eddie’s couch” of press conferences.

SMH ... Nike’s paying millions to Kaep to disrespect our troops, and Big Ben can’t even get regional spots for Dick’s Sporting Goods when he’s out here making everyday Veteran’s Day.

I think this is a question only Stormy Daniels knows the answer to with certainty. 

Weirder penis, Big Ben or Trump?

No way, he’s too old for this shit!

They’re on top of the world and are in control of the whole game, but can’t stop playing the victim card and whining like pathetic losers about how much everyone is out to get them. It’s not only annoying, it’s completely counterproductive, as they’re going to wake up soon on the bottom of the world, with no one to…

“If Nintendo can do it, Sony can too”

Nice of the team to let Homeless Conor McGregor answer some questions.

I have so many questions and here they are.

I’m good with both of these things happening.

Uh, he actually did. I mean, he totally killed people, but he was also consistently productive for them, right? 

They get one tie and think they’re too good for him now.

I hope he hits five home runs and each one features an increasingly offensive bat flip.

I wish Puig was as flamboyant as he used to be. Cardinal fans would absolutely be losing their shit right now, and would go on one of their patented “playing the right way” rampages.

No better Dodger to destroy the Cardinals, but even the worst Dodger option for destroying the Cardinals (Utley? Dozier?) is pretty great in that context.

“I do believe you’d get your ass kicked.”

an obnoxious pregame workout routine

two quarterbacks at the same time

Vegas? I Like to call it Las Wages.