Ohtani is cool and good. 

My first thoughts were Ray Finkle’s mother, but I think yours is better.

Or that his brother is, inexplicably, a Patriots fan. Bandwagoning family members are the worst.  Like the chucklefucks in the Worst NFL Family commercial.

Every single person with the last name “Trump”.

Theres a little bit of a difference between slow plodding Butterbean and Ali. Just a little.

The irony of this shit is that 10 years ago, Meyer was the subject of those exact same “ESPN ONLY LOVES THE SEC! MEYER IS OVERRATED!” by every fucking OSU fan I know.

It has been crystallizing to see this all manifest in the age of Trump. I’m an OSU alum and I occasionally use my cousins 247sports login to check on recruiting news. It is, regrettably, a deep flaw of mine that I care so much about it.

Legitimate question: Is Cleveland to Buffalo the worst possible trade a professional athlete in U.S. sports can endure?

History is going to be very kind to Randy Moss. Extremely thoughtful statement in the current climate of anthem madness.

If someone says they don’t need 10,000 word essays on Jake Westbrook and Quinton McCracken, they’re lying.

Pueblo is the meth capital of the entire goddamn world and is routinely overrun by locusts, and yet is somehow the most tolerable city in the state.

Sage Rosencopter. Get his name right, please.

I also love “The Invisible Hand of Fate,” but bizarrely, a lot of fans seem to hate it. Best as I can understand, the reasoning seems to be because it interrupts the main storyline progression in favor of fleshing out side characters. I kinda get it, but at the same time, I’m like... if you’re not watching this show…

I would bet ... (quick google of the nfl draft 3rd round.)

Texans being “little brothers” to the Cowboys? More like the cousin with Down’s syndrome you hear about every few months from your parents on Facebook about some stupid shit and only meet every few years at a family reunion.

But he had that 1 big hit against Michigan!

I appreciate the John Oliver-ishness of it.

Thanks! That was me!

I love “The Invisible Hand of Fate,” which is an origin story for Billy Quizboy and Phantom Limb and really finds the pathos in these characters.