So weird that Roseanne would be feeling such economic insecurity when her show was just picked up for a second season.

The Mark Jackson / JVG combo is 48 minutes of hell

The Doctor said he’d quit getting nosebleeds if he just kept his finger out of there, but alas.  

Fun Fact: In the unlikely event the Cavs win the NBA Finals, the Kyrie Irving trade will have netted Isaiah Thomas a championship ring.

Uh, elite is being used sarcastically and not even referencing LA Galaxy.

We are Griot.

“The Milwaukee PD wishes to extend our apologies to all for tasering a famous black man.”

So you’re saying there’s a silver lining to everything?

Not surprising, teens usually pop off early, even when thinking about baseball.

But I don’t have to outrun the tiger. I just have to outrun you.

I do really enjoy that he plays for a team that featured, when I was a kid, another fish-named star player.

He’s just a modern-day Mickey Mantle without the knee injury and the drinking, playing in the vicinity of the nation’s second-biggest media market. Boring.

Man, those spambot news alerts for ‘squirmy grifters’ and ‘shady, scam-happy group’ are really paying off.

I watched both The Phantom and The Shadow on the big screen, and I will have words for anyone who tries to crap on them. They were both cheesy, and cliched, but they were fun, pulp movies just like their source material.

Bartolo Colon nearly ruined his career with fork knife but he returned bigger and better than ever.

Weird... when I read this, I thought for sure it said:

Very Fortunate Mike Budenholzer Gets to Coach LAURELs.

The Lions spent 19 seasons with 2 of the top 10(?) most exciting players of all time. Winning isn’t the only source of relevance.

Thanksgiving game saves them.

That shit switched from Yanny to Laurel on me and now I’m bugging out. FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, PATRICK.