Freeze: [climaxes]

Once they’ve launched their new vertical Cumpete

How much longer until Deadspin starts covering eScorts?

I just can’t get over how stupid/arrogant/cheap you have to be not to spend $80 on prepaid phone.

To me it’s simple - I’m a mildly athletic person. A weekend softballer. In a MLB ballpark I could maybe, juuuust maybe connect with one perfectly and poke it over a short left porch wall. Like a .0001 percent chance. I’m not even saying I could do it - but it’s POSSIBLE. But I could NOT dunk a basketball. Ever. No…

It is absolutely homer. Drew nailed it yesterday. The pool for potential dunkers is much smaller than potential homerers.

And he’s Canadian! Who knew they played baseball up there?!?

That’s terrible.

ACTUALLY… There’s a rumor that the White House staff can’t keep Trump’s bedsheets clean because he orders a bucket of KFC original recipe every night, eats the chicken IN BED while watching cable news, and wipes his hands on the sheets. Now that’s a completely uncorroborated story, but I’m gonna choose to believe…

One time I went to a Redstone on a Friday night. I had only ever been there for brunch or dinner, never as a late night spot. Quite the scene of 50-something divorced dads in “casual” suit attire trying to shoot their shots with drunken 40-something women that seemed one drink away from wither sobbing or boning (or…

Holy shit

Man, that video of Bridgewater injuring his knee never gets easier to watch...

All of his colleagues were taking pics hoisting it but told him that, because he was a Vikings fan, he was only allowed to look but not touch. Tough but fair.

And lo, did Mike Zimmer carve out one eye and cast it into the well of Mimir as was done by great Odin. Not to gain wisdom, but to spare it from having to watch another Vikings season.

I didn’t send this in in time, but this is my Vikings Fan story that encapsulated their previous season in a nutshell:

Guy gets hired at desk across from me, named Todd. Huge Vikings fan. I’m a Cheesehead, so I figure we’ll be friendly rivals. Wrong. By Week 3 I was getting guff from him daily regarding how the Vikings…

If the personal conduct suspension gets reduced, can they still tack on a couple games for those stupid fucking half shirts?

Could be tough, Jeets hasn’t done anything but kill rallies since 2009

You’d think Jeter would be a little more understanding about keeping around a fan-favorite statue in the field.

Truth. Let us hope he doesn’t run into Kronenburgulous Michael, though; things could get weird quick.

This really is shaping up to be the best season of this show yet. Their creativity continues to astound me (and I’m not just saying that because Rick is a loyal customer). No doubt the addition of more women and people of color has something to do with their continued ability keep the show fresh and interesting. For…