As potentially Christmas-ruining as this is for a child, I laughed. This would’ve been hilarious and mildly upsetting if it’d happened to me. For the first 12 hours I probably would’ve been more amused by the joke than I would’ve been by the PS4.

“but did whoever swapped it out have to draw a dick and balls on it?”

Look, people. I know you miss your dog, but here’s the thing: Clones are identical twins born separately (and usually later) from their “original” sibling. That’s all they are.

Omg thank God someone said it! I’m always astonished at how people don’t understand that a clone is just an identical twin. It’s not magic!

Ugggggghhhjjjj. As the parent of identical twin boys, I would like to point out that just because the genes are the same, the expression of said genes are NOT.

I would totally clone a beloved pet if I had that much cash to burn but I’d be concerned about cloning a dog who’s likely to die from a brain tumor.

When I started reading this story I was on the toilet, but I found it so raw and edgy that I fell off the toilet and shit myself. Then, laying on the floor in a puddle of Christmas shit, I took a selfie. I then made that shit selfie the wallpaper on my phone and computer. Cuz I'm twisted and dark, just like Jared Leto.

There was originally a breast slider, but it was removed for the US release. They also removed Link’s skimpy bikini outfit.

She put her phone number on a card in the machine. He went broke trying to win it.

If Harry Potter taught me anything, it’s that kids will do extremely stupid things if not given enough information. See also, abstinence only sex ed.

When I think back about my hellraising as a very young child, legitimately about 80% of it was just trying to figure out my world. Rarely did I do rotten shit because I wanted to do the thing more than obey the rule, or because I enjoyed being contrary, or whatever other wanton evil my parents probably thought was in…

The little fuckers are going to corrupt your kids, too!

My mom used to tell me that Angels were watching. I wasn’t afraid. I was curious. So, I remember back in the fourth grade I went to my local library and looked up books on Angels. Found old texts talking about how some Angels were actually gigantic wheels with eyes and covered in fire. Funny thing is, after that I was…

My sister: I’m thinking of getting Elf on the Shelf for the kids, what do you think?

Let me guess, any adults you told that to as a kid just thought you were ‘cute’ or ‘precious’?

How else will you get back at them for ruining your body/life?

Those things are creepy and not in a fun way.

I used to hate getting undressed as a child because I was afraid that angels were watching. If elf on a shelf had been a thing back then, I probably would have burned it and buried the ashes in the woods.

They stick exclusive stuff you can’t get anywhere else in the machines. Those candy ones, sure, why bother, but plushes or figures you can’t get outside a machine? People want them.

Seriously, your machine fucks up and it’s somehow my fault? I don’t think so buddy, now go get me a wheelbarrow for all this shit.