He's such a dick and I don't get the appeal. Like, do people enjoy him ironically? Is it like "liking" Archie Bunker?

If a guy could get pregnant by giving himself head, Piers Morgan would be the resulting child.

Reachingggggg.

Yes, how dare she, as a woman, be multi-dimensional and have multiple thoughts at once. shame.

The local Audubon Society is very displeased with the occupation of the refuge. I wonder if they could amass an army of 1,000 falconers. Imagine them all raising their arms and a thousand birds of prey take flight, darkening the sky. They’re led by 12 great golden eagles. As the birds approach, shrieking, the…

He really probably believes that he did no wrong. In his mind, they both made mistakes, they both hurt each other.

Dear terrible parents, If you have babies and don’t want them, please contact me. I have space for three and every intention of changing diapers, feeding regularly, and generally giving a crap.

Her and Kate McKinnon make the show for me. I would watch just an hour of the two of them.

She’s just covering her bases in case it ends up not being real. See, science says she has a vagina but everyone knows science can’t be trusted. She’s never seen her own vagina so she can’t be entirely sure it wasn’t made up by liberals in order to have more fun abortions.

I’ve gotten the feeling that he doesn’t actually want to be president. Maybe he just needs someone to tell him it’s okay to follow your own dreams.

He also donated to Bernie, who was like, fuck you dude I’m giving it to a place that is the opposite of everything you stand for

Fuck that. If he donates the money, keep it. Use it for something worthwhile, but don’t give that shit back.

#notallgoblinkings?

interesting since their platforms are exactly the same

How I picture Ellie and Joanna

As a comedian, I am not fond of hecklers. However, some things deserve to be heckled. This is one of those things.

literally no one is blaming Lena Dunham, dude

No, the GOP don't think embryos are property. They think women are.

You’re not alone in this, Kevin.