OH, you!

But are you allowed to scalp tickets?

I kinda want to start hanging outside Atlanta Braves games in a suit and whiteface and be bad at dancing and hand out packs of saltines.

Slice of life: my cat just pooed and it smelled up half the apartment.

I can't stop singing "Kitten in a tea cup. I know, I know- it's serious."

that is most likely a cabbage moth larva. The best way is to squish them. They come in two waves, one now and one a few months ago. You can also use fine netting, but just go out each day to search and destroy.

Brussels sprouts are amazing. Why do more people not see this???

I think Christian Grey is better with even more hair.

Gee, do you think she will devote her career to fighting predatory lending, or advocating for lower student loan interest rates, or redlining poor communities? Or will she just go around suing cities who don't put up holiday creches?

I know a guy who went to seminary because he was gay and spent his whole life hating gays! He is "Brother Peregrine," which is like the most gay monk name possible.

Rob 'em blind, Julianna! See a fool, use a fool!

Oh, honey. That was exactly where my mind went. You wanted A-List Treatment on a Z-List Airline?

People who want "A-list" treatment shouldn't be flying Southwest.

Yup, they do

Mis-tah Baay-ates

And that reminds me, as a man privileged with good hair, why I like a good barber. No muss, no fuss, just cut it short all around, tapered on the sides and back and let me get back to be ridiculously handsome and debonair.

Fired? Dear, that's called changing stylists. They probably didn't even notice. When your stylist gives you one on the house and lets you know that they will no longer be seeing you, that's firing. I fired a few clients for repeat no-shows or just being awful.

"I think this year, she's quite impulsive," Dockery said. "She's embracing her new life, really. … She's got a bit of her bite back."

As a veteran of many terrible haircuts, I can tell you for sure that the appropriate course of action is to find a bar close to the salon and then call all your friends and cry until someone comes and meets you there and buys you a drink.