He totally looks like Grizzled Rob Lowe!

You're my favorite customer Ari Schwartz

This gif is making me snort/chortle. Snortle

Hey! Psycho! Get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up!

I just found out that GWAR is gonna be in town in two months - definitely getting tickets!

I may love abortions but at least I'm not A BORE, SON!

"Abortion is too serious" for a sitcom is such a right-wingy thing to say. It just makes it sound like it's this big sacred decision that a woman has to deliberate on and contemplate and soul-search because it's Ending A Life and Consequences Will Never Be The Same and shit, like the same "women need to really think…

Heather? Heather Mooney? From Sagebrush High in Tucson?

Can I just like Kelly more than Beyonce without having to discourse on their respective prettiness? Actually scratch that, Team Solange

Ughhhhghg, but I really wanna meet Jackee!

I think that might be me? My mom calls it "sallow"

Charlie's totally not racist, though!

Oh, ugh. That's awful. I actually have a dress somewhat like that - same color, same shapelessness. It looked kinda cool when I saw it online but it just makes me look like a dust bowl refugee/escapee from a women's prison and not in a cool ironic way either

Yes! It's like when people talk about how glamorous flying used to be. Still is on emirates!

Omg Emirates is AMAZING. The coach section is nicer than some HOTELS I've stayed in! The onboard entertainment is great, the entire plane smells like rose water and they have mood lighting that shows the sky over Dubai at night. I wish they would somehow fly domestic, the closest I've found is Virgin America

Do not go gently into that good night! I pick my airlines based on whether or not they have the TV screens. I'd so much rather browse the stations than decide halfway through the flight that whatever shitty movie I downloaded isn't worth the hassles

I do this too!!!! The worst is when somebody in my line of vision forgoes the TV altogether and stays on the default flight path screen. I can't not look at it!!

The out-dated hyphenization is the best part. 1890's to-morrow, 1990's on-line

That only works if you stick with the same phone for eternity. I had the Verizon unlimited plan for a loooong time after they discontinued it, but they made me relinquish it upon getting a new phone.

Now do every outfit from HELLO AGAIN