NOPENOPENOPENONONONO

You are a very good storyteller! And even though it must have been terrifying, it had to have felt a little good telling that thing to fuck off!

OH GOD I’VE BEEN READING TOO LONG! THIS STORY WAS TOO MUCH!

Aw I love the happy ending with your mom and her new house spirit.

You waved? YOU WAVED?! Noooooooooo!

Starting this out with “Okay, so this may not be the scariest story ever” was NOT. FAIR.

Occasional prank lady saved you! I’d still NOPE right out of ever going in that room again.

Loving these c-span call in comments so far. A dem, rep and independent all saying ABOUT TIME!

After reading “Florida” I was just scrolling through looking for Miami....Miami....Miami-NOPE! West Palm Beach. Close enough.

You forgot a couple zeros in that 1,792...

First paragraph of wiki wizzard: “He spends just about all of his time running away from various bands of people...he was born with a wizard’s spirit”

You are one of my favorites. There’s a lot of this type of information I am unaware of as well and you are always succinct and polite in your responses. (Also you are a wizard hat and I have mad respect for that. I imagine you as a Carmen SanDiego/Merlin mix.)

I am absolutely 100% done with today. It is over and I will not come out from under the covers until tomorrow. Or maybe the next day.

Is that something we could watch? Because if so, I will fly to Texas and watch every time just to cackle loudly behind her when it happens. Every. Time.

I may lurk more than comment, but I have always loved reading your work! Never stop being the weirdly awesome person you are.

Bah! I want to put an electric fence up and anytime she comes near you or your children she gets shocked. Can we do that? Let's shock her when she talks to you too.

I am HORRIFIED by this. Hope you are doing better, internet friend. Some people (and sadly often mothers) just don't know how to keep their mouths shut.

That absolute dickface!

Oh...oh all of the hugs for you. This story definitely shocked me the most. Not ok, mom. Not ok.

I really wanted you to just respond: “Oh.”