Don’t forget “(You Better Stay) Silent (About This) Night”

Robin Thicke Sings: “Rapey the Snowman, Roofie the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Other Beloved Classics.”

Home for the Pauladays?

Right? It could practically be the cover for the Robin Thicke Christmas album that nobody wants.

It’s uncanny.

I don’t think it’s “normal” or “decent” to try to get someone drunker than they might want to be without their knowledge. Not a “funny prank” to play on a potentially pregnant woman, or someone on medication, or the night’s designated driver...

Oh no! You don’t understand! This is a joke and there’s a war on jokes and people are so overly sensitive with their political correctness nowadays! People can’t take a joke!

No! See it was a joke! You thought you were drinking a non-alcoholic beverage haha cause you’re an alcoholic haha and your dad drank himself to death haha and you’re trying to stay sober. But I put rum in the drink there when you went to the bathroom haha. And then you didn’t know you were drunk so you drove home and…

The war against christmas is waaaaaaaaay more damaging than date rape! duh.

I love the rock.

Gisele, that’s kind of gross. Bridget’s kid is your stepchild, not a gift with purchase.

DEATH to strangers who interrupt readers. PAINFUL death to dudes who think women reading are fair game to be hit on.

I read this headline as

I hope more than anything ever in my life that she was paid to be there. Not only because that means Trump has to pay people to make him look like he has diverse support but also because she was paid to give zero fucks and read her book. Can she start a book club? Can we pay her to sit and read during all the GOP…

Watching it the fifth time (because yes), I noticed that a bunch of people right behind him aren’t reacting to his speech. Paid plants? Forced to be there by their employers? I’m so curious now...

I aspire to this woman’s greatness. And seriously, the stones on that guy who tapped her shoulder... She was reading a fucking book, not watching a slew of YouTube videos on her phone without earbuds. It in no way impacted you, pretentious white dude.

So much hidden humor!! Well, obviously, there’s the lady in question, who DGAF. But then there’s “Dude Throwing Shade at White Guy Reaching Around Him”:

Job 5:31: and lo the Lord didst punish Job by forcing him to drink only the coffee left in the Starbucks at 9:00PM, and wouldst not allow him to have a fresh cup.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.