mercenarykitten
mercenarykitten
mercenarykitten

I hate this crap so much. Girls, we are going to constantly bombard you with messages about how important it is to be beautiful! Every movie, TV, and book character that you might want to be like is going to be beautiful. Every ugly female character you might see will be a hated loser whose life you wouldn’t touch

I have got to do what you know everyday that means you have to check on blood on your clothes or face. Are you a vampire slayer? 00 agent? Medical professional?

Apparently girls are supposed to go into the boy’s bathroom (which I assume hasn’t been papered over because, boys & patriarchy) to deal with lost contact lenses and floss that piece of caramel corn from their molars?

My 14 year old self would be like ‘ eff this shit. Jesus isn’t gonna squeeze these pimples’

So like, sometimes I need to use the mirror to make sure my contacts haven’t rolled up in the back of eyeball. Should I just go use the boys bathroom mirror, Y/N?

It is flagrantly criminal to accept tax payer money to perform a job you refuse to perform. It is theft of public funds and fraud.

“alucard and the Real Girl” 10/10 would watch

I would like to strap on an enormous dildo and be part of a group gang-banging that fucks the living daylights out of the asshats who sentenced this young woman and her little sister (15 for christ sake!) and then I’d turn and fuck the shitforbrains elders who would be carrying out the sentence. Let the punishment fit

Okay, maybe one more thing. PM Modi entered office last year on a platform of economic and social modernization in an India that has yet to realize it’s real potential in the modern world because so much of it is still stuck in the past.

After being dead for 18 years, my father in law still has a stalker.

Do not bring your kids to the vet pretty please with a cherry on top. Bring your kids to a pediatrician. Your unvaccinated kids scare the vet.

Kelly, don’t be fooled by pro-needle stabbing propaganda. The government doctors are all shadow illuminati lizswords (lizards made of swords) that are trying to fill us with chemtrails for control and to take prayer out of schools. What I’m trying to tell you is that jet fuel can’t melt steel beams.

Your outsides are okay and pleasing to look at, but your insides are disgusting meat whores. War is the only option.

When four people testify in direct contradiction to what Owen Labrie claimed happened, DNA evidence existed and a physical exam came back consistent with rape and he still gets acquited of all the major charges, that shows you just how seriously America takes rape. For rich, white guys that is.

THIS IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

My personal favorite: