Yeah, and if the pizza gets saucy, you can eat it. Children, not so much.

Deplorable, Nazi-level shit. And the US did similar things around the same time... See the Tuskegee incidents, forced sterilization, and the like.

She doesn't like Boehner appropriating her face, but she's just gonna shake it off, shake it off.

Read the lede and hoped it would be about the ratio of incidents of sex that teachers were having compared to what students were having.

Yeah, I tried, but everything she said was so tinged with sadness that I felt this was just the first man to show interest to this desperately lonely girl, and so she jumped at him (and that he took advantage of the power imbalance/attraction).

sorry, I was trying to edit it to read "earlier in life" and it didn't go through.

soooo

My internal voice just opted to be Tommy for this one.

OH, Hai doggie

"You're tearing me apart, Lisa!"

I don't know why, but I read all of his messages in Tommy Wiseau's voice. That was the only way I could really get through the creepiness, I guess.

I'm still waiting for my Herbal Essences-inspired fruitgasm that leaves my locks shiny and satisfied.

Did we only get a C because of the No Country Left Behind Policy?

His face looks like his chin stopped suddenly and the rest of his face just kept going forward.

I love how this and the tax cuts they are trying to pass are under the guise of them "not wasting any time getting to these matters". Hello, you wasted time when your fruitlessly ran them through Congress numerous times and when you attempted to repeal the ACA like 50 times.

Newborns are especially bad 0-o

I'm always relieved to meet others! Now if only I could surround myself with a posse of you in public to bounce back the baby folks (just kidding baby folks. But don't expect me to fawn over them or pics of them pleaseeeee)

I contend that Boehner just wanted to get close enough to latch on and suck a bit more of the life out of Pelosi, and by extension, the Democrats.

Kings of Leon style...

I agree with your point a) except that you are not a horrible person! I've never felt "aww, cute" at any of that stuff either. As for point b), I think plenty of adults would agree with the kids. Ha! Also, I suspect some of the adults in point c) would agree with you in point a)—secretly, of course.