Couldn’t tell ya. I haven’t seen it.

I watched a promo for Carol. Thought it was all fun and games. Just a little commercial before I got back to a 2 and a half men rerun. No big deal. JUST a movie.

Oh, those four children are stupidly pretty and I am weeping into my coffee that I will never be as chic as an 8 year old.

All of it. All the disposable income.

Ridiculous pricing and all, I know. But can we talk about their hair game for a second?

In the nineties I wore actual slips from the thrift store that cost $.25-$1.50, and I’m sure Courtney did too. You wore them with a fake fur coat you got for $5.00, a pair of boots, and tights. That was it.

all you need to accessorize is a cap and a fur coat

Mine was a quasi-hookup, but bear with me. These dudes who lived together in a house while attending college were close-knit so they had a “post-Christmas” in February, in one of the dudes’ ranch in the countryside. I was invited by my BFF, one of the dudes’ girlfriends, and I was newly single, so I went. There was…

Why are we blaming his mom?! Oh right, it’s always a woman’s fault!

I feel like Dunham shouldn’t have received first place on this list. I remember those comments too, and she felt bad about her body afterwards.

Lena Dunham discussing her fun times on stage:

Seems like this tour’s been going on since 1989.

I just bought a rose quartz ring. I’m so ahead of times...

Just did the math on that one. I started drinking when I was 15, so 21 years and going strong, baby!

My divorce will be finalized in the next month and I will be celebrating with some damned good champagne. Maybe a French 75 or two. It would be a shame to waste good champagne.

Unlike you, I'm not greedy. I can live with no garage, just give me the house and yard.

“I don’t know what you would have done if we hadn’t adopted you- you wouldn’t make a very good prostitute”. (Adopted as a child from a communist country. It was a true statment, but vulgar coming from a parent. Emancipated shortly there after).

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

As she was putting the turkey on the table for Thanksgiving dinner, “It’s a Butterball, just like Missy.”