But seriously - if you have an opportunity to insult a decorated war veteran you have to take it, right?

I don’t think you can play him in the outfield. I know it’s the World Series, and I know it’s the Cubs in the World Series, but you risk giving up an awful lot on defense even apart from the potential of a re-injury. Let’s not forget this team won 103 games (well, technically 101) without Schwarber. Have him be the…

That man looks cold.. We should get him a blanket

Memo to Jill Stein voters : Ditto.

Cubs fans = Ferris Bueller, Eddie Vedder, Bill Murray

I’ve been rewatcing things that I enjoy, so Parks and Rec and West Wing are in my rotation. I also find the Bravo shows to be mindlessly fun.

Both embody Chicago. With the Cubs you forgot suburbanites who call four square blocks of bars “the city,” but with the White Sox you forgot the virulent racism/homophobia and babyrage inferiority complex. Chicago sports fans embody a rich tapestry of shitty humans, no need to pick one in front of the other

I’m 29 and I can not tell you how many times I’ve daydreamed about going back and playing little league, not as a kid, but as an adult. I would fucking dominate and feel a power that I’ve never felt before. Imagine getting a 40mph floater right down the middle and taking it deep, rounding the bases while staring…

Did you just all lives matter me

Well folks, it finally happened. The NRA warned us all but I didn’t believe them. Last night as I was watching the debate there was a knock on my door. This startled me since I didn’t buzz anyone up. Maybe it was a neighbor who needed something? I ask who is it as I check the peephole and it was President Obama! At…

Johnny Cash once sat at the table next to mine at the Bottom Line on night. He had the courtesy to not pester me the entire evening. I remember giving him a grateful nod as I left.

I’ll say this about that inning and that game:

I plan to allow my children to stay up late for playoff baseball, saddling them with a lifelong interest in a phenomenally boring sport.

If the Dolphins had tried this tribute Goodell would’ve fined each player $25,000

And in related news, both the Chargers and Broncos are wearing matching pj’s for their sleep over tonight.

Oh, and the goddamn motorcade of buses, with police escorts, carrying the Cubs players this morning made me miss 2 green lights. I had to poo, you dicks.

This woman needs serious psychiatric help. Don’t think jail time is going to be of much use for a woman who inflicts her own disorders on her kids.

If they had thrown a soda can instead of beer, would it have counted as a pop fly?

Lisa Ling needs to do a segment where she heads on out to O’Reilly’s house and asks him questions about those saucy Irish tempers. I mean, it’s all in good fun and I’d love to know if it’s an “Irish” thing to cheat on your wife and then try to get her excommunicated when she divorces you.

My own favorite quote about Libertarians is by John Rogers: