At the Bush Bar (a waxing institution not owned by the Bush family) I was once offered “the black tie” design.

Second Giffing today. I should have shaved my legs.

I have never been Giffed before. I like it. It feels like home.

My husband is my vibrator. I’m going to ask him if I can bring a bigger him on dates.

I read Alana Massey as Alanis Morissette.

I don’t believe in casual sex. I always wear a tuxedo even if the event is held on a weekday.

Just balls in general.

Nor do I, friend. Nor do I.

Fun fact: In Sweden Ikea is called Wekea.

Prince Phillip really is pregnant!

I have a child named Apple. I intend to name my next Fennel. And my third Salad. I suggest you do the same.

Until reading your article, I thought I was the authority on all things labia.

Being dead, my Grand-dad much prefers zombie movies.

In the 2007s, in the men’s powder room of WEHO hotspot, Le Deux, I saw Spencer Pratt drop le deuce in the sink.

Nicole, Kate and Gwyn remind me of expensive field hockey sticks.

I was a Kardashian once.

Had it been a polar bear, the police would have offered it muffins.

“Elizabethtown is the worst movie ever!” said Karl, director of Karltown, a film now considered by most Karls to be a classic.

“The good marriage starts with a healthy amount of transparency.”

I wiz live all the time. But my promo photos are in excellent taste.