When I was in college, I went with a bunch of friends to the “cowboy Denny’s”, so called because, well, a WHOLE lot of cowboys hung out there. (There was actually a Denny’s much closer to campus, but after a gang-related shooting, they started closing at 10PM.) We were hanging out, laughing, chain smoking (early 90s),…

Well, if anyone posthumously publishes my teenage story in which John Taylor of Duran Duran takes me to the prom and then, in the limo afterwards, “finger[s] my sizzling clit”, at least I’ll be dead and past the humiliations of this earthly life.

This movie has the best unreleased soundtrack I can think of, from the unrestrained clubby joy of RuPaul’s “Party Train” to the beautiful “Glass Vase Cello Case” by Tattle Tale, which IIRC plays during Megan and Graham’s love scene.

I recently moved to a new state that is MUCH drier than the previous state and I can only shower every other day or my skin turns into this red, scaly mess that not even lotion can soothe.  I must say I do not love not showering every day, but I’m not finding it quite as disagreeable as I thought I would either.

A Port-A-Potty on an Alaskan hiking trail. I didn’t even make it as far as opening the door; I just got within 5 feet of it and almost passed out from the smell.  It was like the Perkins bathroom times five.  I just kept going until I couldn’t smell it anymore and went behind a tree, which was awkward, but it was…

This was many years ago but I have never, and never shall, forget it. I went to a fro-yo place called Checkers and the cashier had very bad cystic acne. As I was paying, I saw thin rivulets of pus streaming from one of the larger zits, which had burst. The second I left the establishment and was out of his sight, I…

How the hell does she propose social distancing where the slot machines are crammed right next to each other and the Strip is (under non-pandemic circumstances) absolutely packed day and night? What about nightclubs? Buffets? How do you sanitize slot machines and dice and cards and seats and chips etc.?

Oh god!!! I knew that name sounded familiar.  I was reading a Tumblr post once about serial killers and they suddenly sprang some of the photos he took of his victims.  I wish I believed in hell so I could enjoy the thought of Bob Berdella roasting in it forever.

I read A Curious History of Sex by Dr Kate Lister (highly recommended) and was astounded by some of the pictures in there.  I know there’s nothing new under the sun, but I wasn’t expecting to see a Victorian-era photo of gay fisting.

Hear, hear!  Went to CVS today and realized about halfway there that I had forgotten to put a bra on.  I’m not, shall we say, a SMALL woman so it’s pretty obvious when I’m freeballin’.  I almost turned around and then just said fuck it.  I may never put a bra on again!  It’s glorious!  And to think I used to SLEEP in…

It wasn’t embarrassing, but I had an EXTREMELY vivid dream about banging Viggo Mortensen in a library.  It was so vivid I woke up thinking “I really gotta call Viggo back” and then remembering it hadn’t actually happened and I did not, in fact, have Viggo’s phone number.  I effing WISH.

It wasn’t embarrassing, but I had an EXTREMELY vivid dream about banging Viggo Mortensen in a library.  It was so vivid I woke up thinking “I really gotta call Viggo back” and then remembering it hadn’t actually happened and I did not, in fact, have Viggo’s phone number.  I effing WISH.

Imagine being in isolation with any of these people. 

THIS THIS THIS. Socks are an absolute must! Also, when removing the socks, I found it was best to sit on the toilet, take the socks off over the trash can, vigorously shake the flakes out, and then go straight into the shower. This method kept my house from looking like someone ran around sprinkling fish food…

For all your reaction GIF needs:

Ooh, I haven’t! That’s a great idea...thank you! I’ve been using Summer’s Eve “intimate” body wash as bubble bath, which is safe for direct application so I figured a capful diluted in an entire tub of water would be fine. It hasn’t caused any reactions, but it also doesn’t foam up much or for long.

Ooh, I haven’t! That’s a great idea...thank you! I’ve been using Summer’s Eve “intimate” body wash as bubble bath,…

Does anyone have good recommendations for bubble bath that won’t irritate the more, uh, temperamental vaginas among us? I love taking bubble baths, but everything seems to cause a reaction.

Does anyone have good recommendations for bubble bath that won’t irritate the more, uh, temperamental vaginas among…

Wake UP, sheeple! Oprah paid to have the TRUTH squelched! She wore a ruby ring once, which is a sign that’s she’s an adrenochrome junkie! Do your research!!!

Look how happy she is!  That’s like if someone took a picture of me in front of the case of Lay’s salt and vinegar potato chips I “accidentally” ordered.

So apparently Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have just tested positive for coronavirus.