“His model girlfriend Vogue Williams”

ACK! Oh god, he looks so much like my douchelord ex-ex-boyfriend here that I can almost smell the vinegar fumes wafting from my monitor.

Not sure if he still lives in Minneapolis, but he used to live next door to my dad’s ex-fiancee. She was THRILLED when he moved out because she would get his fans coming to her house, thinking it was his, and then getting mad at her for “hiding” him.

I love both! Yes, the Kraft stuff is gross and I can never get the powder fully blended so there isn’t a bunch of clumps in it, but man, a big pot of that, a new episode of SVU, and a foot mask are my Wednesday night self-care ritual.

[prints “Liam Neeson Eats Here For Free” sign, puts in front of house, takes off panties]

They wound up assigning a dude in my office who was so white he was practically transparent, Midwestern born and raised, and he still had plenty of trouble with her, but at least none of it was racially based!

I can’t get TOO specific about the situation lest I “out” myself, but Faye Dunaway was working with my company on something and she refused to work with the woman assigned to her because she was, and this is a direct quote, a “chink”. She asked for someone “born in this goddamn country” instead. So, you know, fuck…

I do too! Oh No They Didn’t has a roundup of all the tabloid/gossip magazine covers every Wednesday, which I find quite informative, but they don’t include the snarky commentary (at least in the post; the commenters sure go in) or choice snippets like the celebrity cat-a-likes.

I want to be civil about this, but I can’t, so:

A looooong time ago, when I was still a kid, my parents used to subscribe to USA Today, and on Valentine’s Day, they had personal ads you could buy to proclaim your love for your significant other, and I remember there were always dozens upon dozens of them for Barry Manilow. No idea if this is still the case (hell,…

My friend used to have ferrets named Mia Ferret and Ferret Bueller. How about those?

The local Petsmart has an area set aside for rescue organization cats, and right now they have 3 black kittens, 5 months old, all of whom were badly abused. Despite that, they are the ABSOLUTE MOST LOVING KITTENS you can imagine. My bank is next door to that PS, so when I have to go to the bank, I stop by and visit…

Yes! Sometimes I pull up the original video and just snicker for ten minutes straight.

Fucking Magneto, how does he work?

When I was in college, my boyfriend and I went to a dance club, and after they closed, we took a back road home to avoid the “last call” traffic. And when we were driving in a particularly deserted area, the headlights illuminated a woman walking in the middle of the road. She turned around when she heard our vehicle,…