Pedant alert: When a hive gets too big, the OLD queen is the one who says, “Jesus, this place is fucking crowded. C’mon.” She is the one who goes, not the new queen.

Also doesn’t wipe down the machine when he’s done.

I truly sit corrected. He would shamble, at best.

He’ll probably run down to the road and demand to drive a tank. “Vroomvroom!”

Wait. A demolition derby. Cows. IS THIS A THING. COWMOLITION DERBY. That I’d pay to see. Alpacopalypse could be an opening act.

I don’t know either of these people, but I think they’re both beautiful and cool-looking. 

BERWYNNNNNNNNN

which is why pants are evil

Good LORD, the trolls are out in force. Michelle Obama is an extraordinarily talented, smart, kind, and inspiring person. The whataboutism here in the comments, the bizarre conspiracy theories, and the gaslighting comments about 45's accomplishments simply go to show how terrified some people are of a kind,…

this chick looks like she’s about to call for the torches to be lit

You made me smile. Today, this day. I am deeply grateful. The nation may be burning around our ears, but you are still funny. 

That’s what she said.

Be still, my somewhat-overheated heart!

That’s kind of fascinating, in a Pavlov’s Dog Housetraining kind of way.

HEY. I’m also divorced and can’t sleep next to anybody. Wanna make out, then go to separate beds with the fan on and AC blasting?

Applause for the Tolkien reference.

Anybody else kinda concerned for HM’s meeting with 45? SHE’S REALLY OLD. He could pull her damn arm RIGHT OFF. I know she’s tough, but jeez. He could do some serious damage. She should be equipped with maybe a harness, and possibly a palm-of-the-hand taser. BE CAREFUL, LIZZIE!

I want her to load that perfect handbag up with royal jewels, and finally use it for what it was designed for: beating a jumped-up crass colonist about the head until he begs for mercy.