Not on Karl Power’s level, but take a bow, kid.

With the goal and an assist, Ronaldo was only a fight away from a Gordie Howe Hat Trick.

Maybe the only time he’s been happy to have missed the penalty.

It was very brave of Bill Veeck to go out onto the field - if I were him, I would have been worried about staying alive.

He also gave Rooney an ultimatum. Goals or GTFO, you midfield poseur.

“[W]aking up vagrants for laughs and putting the videos on the internet” is an incredibly succinct and apt description of Phil Jackson’s approach to the 2016-2017 Knicks’ season.

“It says something about the outrageous quantity of quality Spain have”

(Yea, no, you and Greg just inexplicably keep repeating this line like it’s holy writ since before the 2014 Cup, and it’s been conclusively demonstrated over the past two years that Spain is no longer anything like the best team in the world. That…

Big deal. Toronto spends millions and doesn't have an NHL team either.

Penalty Box is actually the Gentlemen’s Club that will be opening up in Vegas.

“an american team approaching full capacity” - they were missing 4-5 starters

Austria Left Hungary, Part II

Ronaldo is mainly punishing Hungary because he's insulted that he has to share a pitch with Biraly’s sweatpants.

Pete Carroll when asked for life advice: Pass

I’ll say it. I HATE letting 16 teams advance in a 24 team field. It has lowered the stakes massively for the opening round.

Donald Trump Doesn’t Know Shit About the Bay Area

Butler over Duke. Hands down no question.

It’s like when you’re 12 and your mom told you to clean your room before she got home from work. You obviously spend all day not doing it and then spring to frantic action shoving all your crap in your closet the second you hear your garage door open.

Oh for fucks sake. Real finished one point behind Barca in La Liga. They were knocked out of the Copa due to a paperwork mistake. They beat the squad that knocked Barca out of the UCL.

I still remember the celebration after a Champs League game when John Terry made out with Yannick Carrasco’s girlfriend.