Gus has plenty to share.

It was the summer and we were moving from Phoenix, AZ to Chicago, IL. We drove in a mini-van with a broken radio. I was shoved in the back seat, re-reading the same books, unable to move much because my mother’s gigantic plants in their huge terra cotta pots were stuck back there with me.

I’ll definitely be masturbating to thi—wait, I’m doing it wrong, aren’t I?

Right? Maybe we’re really just starting this week.

Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…

Ahhh my husband and I didn't know what to do either! It was kind of like prom all over again when my mom had to put on his boutonnière, except messier.

A little known fact is that the most popular pick-up line of 1678 was “Prithee, mistress, wouldst thou help me recreate the celebrated experiment of Antonie van Leeuwenhoek? For science, thou understandest.”

There must be some mistake. Non of these pigs are my parents.

I know it’s pretty much tradition at this point to include Steve Trevor, but it strikes a serious chord of “meh” in me. I’m not going to see Wonder Woman on the big screen for romance, y’know?

Wait, that’s it? It’s Friday and these are all the Spoilers? Damn.

Stories about elderly gay couples finally being able to marry result in me crying about 97% of the time, topped only by heroic dog stories (98.5% chance of crying).

I actually like the visuals of this (polar bears fighting, come on), but I felt that the studio cleaned the movie up so much because it couldn’t decide to commit to the themes of the book.

I’m actually sort of glad that movie got made, cause the sheer amount of internet hate I was seeing for it made me curious about the source material.

I mean, it’s better than Catwoman.

“Green Lantern is this really cool space comic that’ll make a great movie. Just wait. It’ll be a huge hit.”

That story is amazing. I love the resolution - shouting and whiskey.

I'm going to be annoyed remembering this for the next 35 years on your behalf, that's how bad this is.

NICE!